Stake Out

The wax burns around the melting wick as you wait by the door.

Sitting in your comfortable plaid chair with your legs propped up on the arm of the couch.

Mumbling the unspoken words that will never find there way to the ear of the coming.

The bottle of scotch you clench between your finger tips slowly disperses throughout your veins.

You usually never allow yourself to smoke inside the home but tonight, oh tonight is different. It's worth it.

The dark of the night crept onto you like a cloud surrounding the beach.

Your two open eyes keep the ghosts at bay.

Sitting directly in front of the door, still mumbling, still chain smoking.

You go over possible accidental deaths that could have occurred on her way home.

Shaking your head, you search the watch on your left wrist, feeling your forehead.

You convince yourself that you are not tired.

Where is she? Why has she not come home? You ask yourself.

The insecure rage stumbles out of your mind into the real world, coming in the form of a bottle thrown across the room.

Shattering glass explodes ten feet away on the wall with the picture of you two at the carnival.

The photograph drops to the ground with the shattered bottle and breaks as well.

You sigh to yourself and nod your head in justice for a quick minute.

Knowing that your little episode didn't do a single thing other than make a mess for you to clean up.

Your conscience, your oh so wise conscience lets you know that she is most definitely with another man.

You try and contain your anger with deep breaths while closing your eyes.

You picture the kind of man she might be cheating with.

This is overtaking your entire body, tearing you apart.

Still sitting in front of the door borderline crying.

Knock, knock, knock...

Finally! You exclaim. 

You fly out of the chair, adjust your shirt to look presentable and be glorious in your triumphant discovery.

Swinging the door open with a smart smile almost like catching a little kid stealing candy.

"Eh-mm" clearing your throat.

Your eyes meet a stranger.

Words pour out of your mouth saying, "Hello officer"

"Mr. Helsmer" The officer says.

"Yes, how can I help you" firing back.

"Your wife died in a car crash tonight" as he grabs your shoulder.

Puzzled and loss of breath consumes you.

You feel like a fool.

You ask "How did it happen?"

He responds with "She was hit by a drunk driver on her way home from visiting her mother in the hospital."

Now you know your a fool.

You thought a whole story of cheats and lies up in your head not even realizing that she could have been doing something innocent.

You didn't even have a chance to say one last "I Love You" to her.

Her last moments on this earth and you were busy turning red like fire.

Content which you weren't.

Jealousy that overwhelmed you, never helped you in any way.

At least you gained something from obsessing over it...

Analyze This

Oh please mister can you fix me?

Anyone come and save me

Doctor doctor can you help me?

Someone climb up and reach me

Lay me down to rest and sing to me

Hello I love you

I threw out the trash to try and get through to you

Somethings are better left untouched

Where the hell have the walls gone

Pretty baby come play with me

I wonder how far down it goes

The pages turn pressure

Swallowing the conspiracy 

Down these go

Walking the stage of fame

Cut it out because here we go again

He can't succeed 

We learned to ride this bike

Beneath the land of Oz 

I'll just wait in bed until she comes home.

Amelia

Ripples in the pine tree crawl out to the edge and waddle off the cliff into the blue never ending escape of a world. 

Sweet dust bubbles to the air letting their whispers become cries. 

Oh what a world manipulates the forms of their friends. 

The sunshine reflects the droplets turning from watery nothingness to starry black and blue nights. 

Clouds bringing the stars down for a camping trip on top of the ocean blue yonder replacing the bubbly dust with tiny little planets sparkling at the bottom of the sea. 

Viewing this ocean at night while the sun rises you steal those tents and replace those camp fires with your eyes. 

You are the starry ocean scene. The mermaid that gallops through the foggy ocean floor, twisting in between the coral and rocks. 

Alluring.

 This fantasy land that you are owning is become more and more inviting. 

Hungry For

I'll try and make this perfectly clear

I'm so uneven I balance out your heart 

I'll ascend over head with the silence of orioles 

Let it sprout and develop throughout

Are you peeking in whenever it might happen

Amore is my fancy kept within

Past, present, and future tense

Left to the north of the broken glass

Lost to the children of humanity

Bruises constructed upon the foot traffic 

The railroads to success misread the tracks

Night lights warm the arms of the isolated

Reduce the rowing rose ruins

Monumental movement mischievously misleading

Awoken to a sliding vague vision

Compliments of the dead end pharmacy 

Trademarks and copyrights to the catastrophic 

Impulse checks out to the south right

Giving the glory days back to the restless.

Cache Lost

Unjustified blaze of corruption scattered across their faces

Hundreds of legs combined into forms of couples 

Shouting the words of the songs unknown by parents

The optical lens fox holes for the pretty shiny things

Darting through the rooms unfamiliar

Unconscious or purely just abnormal behavior

The best acquaintance of the night billowing the stepping stones

Speaking the muttering giddiness in dissatisfaction

Fire-y paper sticks smoldering in the fleshy shaped skin 

Whispering tunes that can never be loud enough

Conversations turning to bawlations odd

Similarities and commonness only because of the bottle you drink from

The dark gets darker and the confusion hits the streets 

The street bends to a stop and thats that_ the end of the mishap...

More than enough years

The flip side of the honey comb bee hive goes AWOL 

While the thoughts slide up the spine to hide behind the retina 

Glide to combustion through uninhabited territory

These silent destroying harmonies give the remedy of absence 

Glowing gifts of abundance flowing 

Though not tangible giving off the essence of life 

Crippled skeletons play patty cake on the knees of the men

Shaking the hands of the lawyers and money makers

Humming the tune of saving grace

Hope

Benefits held on the behalf of the murders 

Cash prizes given away to the blinded people

Honest liars and petty thieves let loose like a pack of wolves

Words that tangle themselves in your teeth and left in the cracks

Is anybody there

Their craft only multiplies

Abandon ship.

Permanent Motion

Drifting, Sleeping with my eyes open

This spell feels like I am in a picture

Stationary, lifted by the hands of the movers

Carefully placed in between boxes like a game of tetris

Floating, flying in bed above the wheels

Pot holes and speed bumps shifting my position

Peering, visible passer bys spying me

Destination unknown by my eyes 

Steady, constant breeze flowing through the cracks

Permanent convertible with a view of blue

Cool, air condition weather I like it or not

Body warmth next to my cardboard friends

Guessing, mind games played by pit stops

Long enough to be real but movement is absent

Melodies, horns and purring of gears shifting

Tires over reflecting bumps and grinding of axles

Turned off, engines final roar settling

Locks pop, hinges squeak, feet grounded

Were here, arrival successful, destination complete, move accomplished.

Friendless

Friend is a funny word.

A friend can come in any form you want it to.

The hardest part to grasp about friends is the fact that not all people are meant to be your friends.

Friends can either be short or long term. 

The people that say "they were never really friends in the first place" is a lie.

They were your friend or maybe even your close friend at that, they just weren't one of your long term friends.

Just because you grew apart does not mean you take them out of the friend category.

Most of the time when friends grow apart there is that feeling of rejection or anger towards the opposite person.

The best thing to do in my mind is figure out who your long term friends are and nurture those friendships.

Be selfless and caring so that in the long run you will still have those friends next to you.

If you put to much effort into those dying relationships then you will come out empty and alone.

Evaluate your friends.

Find Enjoyment

I have been told a lot of things, none of which have helped me to find enjoyment in my life.

I think people tend to stress about the little meaningless speed bumps more than important things.

I have found that life takes patience and perseverance to stay grounded and stable. 

The early sun rise in it's self is proof enough to be joyful in your life.

God created light for us so we didn't have to live in the dark, yet most people I know think the morning is boring and or annoying.

God shows us that we don't have to live in darkness.

I look at the morning as a blessing and the reassurance. 

When that sun peaks its head over the mountain tops it is soothing.

Remember how blessed we are.

Looking at life not worrying about the small things is the single most enjoyable state of mind I have come to.

Blue

She has Jupiter in her eyes

The black fluctuates with the light

and White clouds surround the outer blue circles

Oceans and galaxies combine swirling into effect

Little brown specks so tiny they are barely visible

Moisture creating a reflective layer

My love resides in her eyes