You will not find me

You won't find my body. Do not come look for me. For if you find me I will just pull you down slowly. My ways are wicked, I am death. I will not be coming back. Do not come look for me. Only if you are lost will you cross my path. The darkness blots out the sun. I am beaten and broken. I converse with demons and curse at angels. Do not come look for me. For I am dying at the bottom of the sea. 

I

I am flesh and bone

My bone is not easily broken

My flesh is not easily cut

I am brains

My thoughts are not to go unheard

My capacity is not to be judged

I am soul

My existence is not to be questioned

My spirit can not be crushed

I am me.

Wicked

 

Throw me to the floor,

Strip me naked of these masks,

Lower these walls,

Take my hand from the button,

Show me light,

Don't let me lay out of sight,

Don't whisper,

Yell!

Take my bones,

Slow me down,

Teleport my twin to the sheep,

Cease my thorns,

Instead give me fruit,

Throw me to the floor.

Rob Me

I was thirteen and innocent to the ways of the wicked You were thirteen plus one and a veteran among the demons. The bedroom was your playground. I was a mouse thrown in to a pit of snakes. The slithering of your tongue defiled me, Your piercing eyes penetrated me, Your limbs grazed me. You were not generating like a boy, This was not your first, in fact you have done this to me many times, Your pleasure crushed me My heart is cold My mind has been tampered My body has been broken But I have grown for seven years since It takes all of the power in me not to reach across this table And destroy you with all of the aggression I have saved for you. You are my nemesis I have not forgotten You are lucky that I live for something greater You are lucky You are so lucky I can't believe we are blood.

New Life

A leaf drifts through the water, but what kind of water? If the water was a stream in the midst of the mountains Then you would say the leaf has fallen from the tree but is still in pure waters. But if that leaf was still dangling from the great tree Then it would still be connected to its roots Therefore living through the tree and seed would fall from the leaf Sprouting new life growing to it's full potential. But what if the leaf was floating through the grimy city gutter? What water are you in?

Faithless

You say show me and I will believe You say convince me and I will be convinced You say show me facts and I will call it factual But do you say show me the air so I may know I am alive?

Down Through Dirt

The pitter patter of your lies tip toe on my eardrum Like rats searching for garbage Filth is absorbed in your skin Discharging through your pores Your untrue babble provokes anger Which you sulk in, getting your high Evil prevails in your world Overtaking the weak But your fantasy land is empty You delight in sadness Poke fun at happiness Pain brings you joy Therefore your destruction will be pleasant.

Dirty Living

He woke up dazed and confused, sore and uncomfortable. Looking around the room unable to identify anything familiar. He rose to his feet putting the same clothes on that he wore the night before. Liquor and cigarettes consumed his body. As he stood up noticing the naked woman lying next to him in bed. The night started coming back to his memory. He was short of her name though. He reached for his accessories scattered on the floor. His head was pounding and his hands shaking. His body was yearning for his medicine. 

In a fit of urgency he started ripping the room apart in search of his fix. Everything he tore apart turned up empty. Every corner, nook, and cranny. It was lost in the epic night. The paranoia overwhelmed him as he left the room. Stumbling out of the house he bumped into a dark figure, he could not pick out any of the features on this mans face but he could see that he was smiling. The only thing he thought that he could be smiling about is the night before. Maybe that they hung out, or were drinking together. Still completely confused he opened the front door wide open lighting up a cigarette and jumping into his car.

His cell phone was glued to his ear until he could find the next person that could score him his fix. Arriving at a broken down wooden house in the middle of nowhere. He slid out of his car looking as suspicious as a man asking to be arrested. He knocked twice on the brown door. The house sounded empty and lonely. He heard a voice “Who is it?” the voice said. He said “it’s me” the door swung open. “Come on in old friend” the voice said. It was a wrinkled dirty haired tall dark figure. He followed him through the hallway. The walls were a dirty yellow color with no sense of home anywhere in the house. The place smelled like sin. The house was enormous with many rooms, none of which had much furniture in them. They stopped in the kitchen to pick up a scale and baggies. The dark figure didn’t wait for him to be ready he just walked expecting him to follow. The deal went down in the den. They sat across from each other on two huge couches. Brown and dusty with rips in the cushions. After everything was settled they exchanged their needed supplies and that was that. Each fixing them selves up a little line or two. As he walked back to his car away from the battered house he thought to himself. Tonight’s going to be a good night. 

Oh such a nice world

Night after night a image is branded

Into the tissue up top

Guilt strips you naked

You have been scarred

For your pleasure is his success

He will pick you out of a crowd

Because you will wander with the world

It has become so easy my friend

Do not let the pixels take over your thoughts

It is a mere temptress

Overcome yourself and talk to him

Whisper

The more you try to erase me

The more I appear

No you are wrong

I will flow through your stream

Whispering your inabilities

The angel will speak 

But I say attention attention

Do you remember me

I am too bright to be left in the dark

I will shine through your white

I have marked you

I am conspicuous

But with your fingers you can touch me

I am permanent

Find the center

Watch as these birds fly over head and bring darkness To your oh so perfect world

Do you flee and find shelter or will you stand and fight

Blue, Red, Orange, and Yellow

Airplanes and Trains

Razor blades and mini straws

White lady, White lady come sing to me your lullaby

Elah ylime Ugly

White gaze

Rain will drop and scatter like mice onto your shoes

Find my center and destroy me

Depression sets like lava

Let me free

What is happiness

Peaches

Are you alive

Do you wish you weren't

Give me peace

Watch me drift

Brisk, warm, and raspy

Apparently you are not for me