Josh

Sit back and I will tell you a story Just as I wait through these moments On occasion I leave this place Something you wouldn't understand Honestly you couldn't see me if you tried Just let the time pass Over and over Slowly sipping your drink Heaven and hell don't really exist Taking a drag from your cigarette you Somewhat feel numb But at the same time you feel everything But whats in between seems to be the only thing thats reel Everything happens at the same time But it has never really happened at all Dont worry what they say to you Just let the time pass Disregard everything you know

Metaphore

This is how we go Clickety clack clickety clack As we walk back towards the train The salty motor is drained from its rain Pass this forward to the conductor Lifting up the birds as they zoom across the screen The faint smell of liquidation creeps into my nose As I watch what the people are brewing Screaming out whats wrong with me The chain saws start as I crawl towards the door These would be simpler times if I could remember that one time The sound of the sword fills my eyes As I look through my ears toward the grand view I've tried for perfection but who is worthy of that kind Watch the whistle passing through your sight Creep through the crickety crack of the slight bit of movement Understand when I say crickety crack I mean the noise bringing movement To the beat I move unconditionally Cradle me as I spin through the crowd The color of the beat creeping through the panels Up and down goes the beat Side to slide Keeping me up by the drink Don't make the mistake of making the same mistakes Calling out to the people Spilling the liquid out Onto the floor I send myself waiting for the grace left for me L is the lane that I drive my beat

Previous

I continue to slam my head against my keyboard. In a hyper slow motion I catch my eyes changing colors from red to green. My pupils dilated, my forehead bruising. The constant deformation of my brain in motion spilling myself dry. Never before have I felt this sense of relief. This open ended explosion of hatred towards this light. Penetrating my thoughts I try and run but I am stopped just inches away by this ball and chain. Constricted and confused I shake vigorously to try and break free. With the energy lost I am left empty and parched begging for a break. Slithering down into my own self destruction I begin to cry. Crying out in exhaustion and weakness I look to the sky. Searching for wonders and sights I find a blank blue canvas. In my own twisted imagination I reach to my left and grab the blue bucket. I then stroke my paint brush over that same sky the same shade of blue as the last. Tilting my head in appreciation I daze off sleeping from dreams. I awake to the new sky, the same blue as the previous. Arising from my sleep I grin and walk out to the porch and proceed with my day. That day will be the same as the previous and the coming...

Let me whisper something to myself

There is a hole in my head spilling these thoughts on to my paper

The pool below me is rising becoming big enough to swim in

These thoughts are devouring me tearing at me, wearing me down

I'm dying to have you

I fighting against you

Clenching you, smelling you

No I cannot consume you

I set you down only to pick you up again

Dismissing you for an instant

Constantly in flux with my decision to leave you

I do not need you

Yes

No I hate you

I love you

My chest constricting and weak, my hands trembling

My whole body is screaming for you

But I do not want you

Merry-Go-Round

Gentle, Gentle

I've seen you cut down trees

Why do they all resemble me

I know you and you know I know

I'm just a fallen man

What are these passing

Remember when we found remedies

Slowly, slowly gentle mind

Come to an ease

Sawed with an axe, I bleed

Misery and bitter falls

Let all things fade

Tell me what they told me

I'm just a man, still learning how to fall

I am no ghost, I cannot walk through walls

They have never looked out for me

I am what I am and what I am is who I am

I know is what I know and all I know is that I fall

Much more than I needed to

Much more than I tried to

Isn't it strange how things have changed

All is well, all is well

Even though sometimes I spin around for days

Round and round and round until I fall

 

All I See

Oh sister Mary

We are everlasting

Intertwined within into something 

I've never felt this way before

Let go of all of these mixed emotions

Forget about all your hesitations

My beating heart is only just the start

Oh sister don't be troubled

I know this isn't what you're used to

It's hard to let go of the past

But this train is moving 

And I am made for you

Together we're heading ceiling

I can not stand this stalling

All I see is your face 

I am seeing you every day

Patiently I stand here waiting

I want you to know that you make me glow

Don't ever ever let go

You're taking time 

But I hope you realize

You haven't missed a night of dancing through my dreams

Nothing will ever be simple

But I can meet you half way

Because we complete each others lives

The Need Is The Word

What makes you happy

What can I do to help

You are my stone

I swear I cannot hurt you

I'll stand by your side

There's no one else

You're in my eyes

I feel empty

Oh my girl please come home

Sidetracked and so alone

I don't know what to do

All I said is said

I just want my other half

I am longing for your embrace

This heart is filled with love

If I am snow then you are winter

I do not want you

I need you

Everything is missing

Can you hear my voice

All I am is for you

Hope For A Day

Give me a day to feel sad

Mourning slothfully and weeping softly

Quietly pushing the covers over my head

Snoozing through the day young 

Pushing the sun through the sky

Unevenly laying balanced by weakness

Waking for a breath and falling deeper

Seeping into a dream laid before my dark eyes

Absent from light and immune to my teeth

Neither will know and neither will show

Coming home crying to my ceiling 

Reaching for letters written fondly

Scribbling letters forming into words

Unable to identify my heartache or my headache

Plotting to find peace in my theatrical muse

I come short of feeling

Leaning over into numbing

I am merely sleeping awake

Tapping of piano keys patter on my roof

Each note sending me whirling as if the player knew

Candle lit and dim I will sit perched in the street

Upon the shore of the ocean I hold back

Shivering frost and biter cold cheeks I can not move

Hoping for a day where my sadness has gone away...

Make Some Sense

Yellow little rabbit hole

Follow through the snow

Galloping around the footprints

Dodging the trees barely missing

Hanging around the fireflies

Conversing with big ugly things

No hours watching the jungle gym

Overly alive just trying to survive

Six miles south of north map

Under this one shooting down

Big lion calls sprawled out

Mistaken paper nap sack

Barely alive using words to speak aloud

Crouching below the big willow

Monsters very tall 

Drill a tiny hole

Measure a new train

Find a new game 

Give me a compass 

Who among is still young 

UN

UNdress my EYES of these tears dripping from MY chin

UNweave this HEART from the Weight holding me to the FLOOR

UNcover fears nestled in my BONES

Break me free of this prison I hold myself in 

Speak to me words of silent melodies dying in days never to come

UNhinge this desire within

Mold me in the likeness of a man

Bear heavy words of Encouragement 

Able to hear from this land

Put me in a HOLE and feed me no Food

Strengthen my abilities to Survive solely alone

Give me a breath of LIFE

Pick me up OFF of this ground

Solidify my joints resisting a fall

Dam my EYE lids

UNdo this mess I laid MYSELF in