For You

I can be your shelter. You can take refuge in me. I do not want to live for you, or control you. I purely want you to know that I will be here for you know matter what. You may not want to press on and that is why I have been placed here, to help you along. You can use my sleeve as a tissue if need be. I will catch your tears and comfort you with warmth and gentleness. I will speak words of wisdom as much as I can. If you do not want to talk we can sit in silence. If you wrong me I will forgive you. If you let me I will embrace you. If you do not want any of this from me then I will just BE for you. 

I Used To

I used to doubt the words from your tongue.

I used to twist your words to use wickedly.

I used to use you for my own self loving.

I used to gloat about what we did.

I used to hate the way you made me feel.

I used to dwell on what you might be doing.

I used to fear that you were right for me.

I used to think you would forget about me.

I USED to think a lot of irrational things.

Love Obtained

If home is where the heart is than I am in San Diego, physically I am in England though.

See I realized the love I longed for wasn't in substances or alcohol or even meaningless friendships.

The love that I found has been in front of my face for years, just waiting in the crowd. 

The love I found is in a young woman twenty years of age. She is an artist with ambitions and goals. 

She dreams more than ten sleeping men. Her goals are set high enough to work towards but not out of reach.

She has blonde hair at the moment that is chopped at her neck. Her eyes are a beautiful blueish green, the kind that sparkles in the sun and glistens in the moon. Her body flows like the ocean, moving freely among the fish. 

She can be as quiet as a hummingbird or as loud as a woodpecker. She chooses her words carefully, always knowing what to say. 

She comforts me in times of need and challenges me in the time of life.

She has been in front of me for years yet I have just found her.

We have rekindled a fire from the ashes of our past.

It is fresh like the daily picking from the local fisher men, but old like a book that has been on the shelf, untouched for months.

She is my love, the kind not many will obtain.

She is MY love.

One, Two, Three, Four...

If I was to try and count all of the things I love about you it would be 

A little bit like going to your local sand covered island 

And trying to tally up all of the grains.

You wouldn't know where to start.

Do you start in the middle? Or do you start in your favorite area?

Do you pick them out in handfuls?

Or do you use tweezers?

Some are hidden just waiting for you to discover.

I don't think our number system even goes high enough to tally up all of your beauties...

GROW

Some people take a while to hear the calling for what they should do with their life and some people know from birth. I think that people who find the path that they were called to walk later in their life appreciate it more. For they had to struggle to find it. They had to make mistakes and U-Turns. The one who knows from the beginning never has the struggle of the world. 

So I say do not be down because you do not know yourself yet, you shall instead rejoice that you are developing character and growing stronger. If you are never tested then how would you ever become solid? By being tested you see what needs change and what needs work. So do not stand idling, go out and challenge yourself. If you never ask why then how will you ever know the answer? 

Disease

I hear a snap or a crack.

But wait what's that?

Could it be back?

That fucking shit excuse of an attack.

I really hope it's not back.

Fuck I'm terrified.

Why the hell does this happen?

Does it hurt?

Can I take some of the burden?

I will give everything up, 

Just to be at your side.

Oh I wish I could take the pain for you.

I can't bare the sight.

This has happened before and I ran,

But not this time.

I will be by your side,

The whole time .

VTCC

Hail to the Queen

Hail to the Queen

For you are always seen

You walk from street to street

Always within feet

They sit back in their seats

While the light flickers

Beep Beep Beep

Their in progress, Their in progress

They want to be in your brain

Everywhere! 

You can't hide

Their even below the ground

On the train.

Last Morning

Two scoops of false hopes

into my cup

Sun shines through my window

Chirping birds are hiding from

the worms

Fresh droplets lay themselves

on dandelions 

Peaceful winds flutter through

the trees

The color of the ocean

absorbs the sky

and today I'll spread

my wings and fly

I wish our hearts didn't

collide

The foundations are set and won't 

be rearranged

Generosity, Generosity

We don't need any hostility.

Gloomy Nights

Secret doorways and little hallways, spiral staircases and brick lining pathways. Candle lit archways and skinny walkways. Damp floors leaky sinks and low ceilings, warm fireplaces, and shelves and shelves of books. Ripped wallpaper and cracks everywhere. Stone counters and wooden chairs, bathtubs with four peg legs. Feather pens dipped in ink and paper sealed with wax. Chimney sweepers and gate keepers, late night alcoholic creepers. Foggy mornings and gloomy nights. Grass covered in dew and pots filled with stew, I wish I could share this with you. Just me and you.

Kitchen and Pantry

The aroma of wet pavement rises like dough, the sun parts the clouds like the sea, buildings drip the excess fluid, lovely is this day in London, a red haired young woman just exchanged smiles with me, my cigarettes is running low, I see many people, tall and short, thin and not, smiling and concerned, old and young, dirty and clean, locals and foreigns, bicycles and automobiles, stationary and in motion, shades and spectacles, beautiful in all their own unique way, I'm sitting at a cafe and this is just yet another typical day in London.